Accumulating years should not mean decelerating gears. I need to rev up my rever upper in any way possible. Healthy eating, vitamins, exercise and mnemonics. Yes, that's right, I need to trick my brain to remember. By making it fun and challenging. How else could I remember how many days in a month or when "i" comes before "e"? I could have never remembered the order of cranial nerves without first learning, "On Old Olympus Towering Tops, A Famous Vocal German Viewed Some Hops." These days, I try to remember names by associating absurd visuals in combinations so bizarre as to leave a lasting impression. So if I get hysterical when introduced to you, you will know why. What was your name again?

Growing Up

"You grow up the day

you have your first

real laugh at yourself."

~Ethel Barrymore~

How Now Brown Cow

On the radio today, I heard about a study that claims if you give a name to a cow, she will give more milk than a cow without a name. The controversy about this theory is the premise that giving a name to a cow would imply better care. What disturbs me the most is that a study was conducted about this in the first place and that I'd even end up writing about it.

I've Been Rocked!

For days now, a song has been playing over and over in my head. Thanks Walmart! Freddie Mercury must be rolling over in his grave. I do like the song and never really listened to the words other than the chorus....We will, we will rock you! I wake up singing this song! I go to bed singing this song! Enough rocking already!

~Happy Ox Year~

This is New Year's Eve if you go by the Chinese Calandar.
The Ox, or the Buffalo sign symbolizes prosperity through fortitude and hard work. Those born under the influence of the Ox or Buffalo are fortunate to be stable and persevering. The typical Ox is a tolerant person with strong character. Not many people could equal the resolution and fearlessness that the Ox exhibits when deciding to accomplish a task. Ox people work hard without complaints at work or at home. They know that they will succeed through hard work and sustained efforts, and do not believe in get-rich-quick schemes.

President Obama was born in the Year of the Ox. Go oxen!

How Long Does Clean Last?

Today I gave my dogs a bath. It was mild for a winter's day so thought it perfect for the occasion. I used dog shampoo with green tea and conditioner with oatmeal. After which I blew them dry with the dog drier which has the power to launch hairballs into outer space. They both looked so clean as to sparkle. Then I went to work. When I came home, I was told Moose rolled in the mud. Why was that allowed to happen? It would have been prevented on my watch. I must now go survey the damage. I am hoping a good brushing will suffice.

Time Warp

I just noticed the date on the webpage shows January 13th so I hit refresh. Same date. I am in a time warp it appears. It does not take much to confuse me. Obama is no longer President. Bush is. I am having a nightmare! Please, someone wake me up! Of course, by the time anybody reads this, it will probably be fixed.

Proud American

Watching yesterday's historic Washington proceedings made my breast swell with pride! But not enough to qualify for a larger bra size unfortunately. I was so very impressed with how well orchestrated everything was. For that many people to gather on the mall without one incident of arrest speaks well of our citizenry. In such crowded circumstances, you'd expect someone to step on somebody's foot or something to start up a confrontation but no one allowed such unpleasantness to sully the occasion. The speech was legendary, the parade well rendered and well received, the gala balls were incredulous and the news coverage what we've come to expect as complete and thorough. The day shone like a beacon for other countries to admire and hope to emulate. All in all, the event appeared seamless and well planned to the minutest of detail. I couldn't have planned a better party myself! I bet even Martha Stewart was envious. God bless America and Obama! He has his work cut out for him!

Arm Chair Historian

Even though I did not receive an invitation to the Inauguration, I can honestly say I would NOT want to be among the throngs of 2 million spectators to witness Barack Obama take his oath of office. I cannot fathom walking that far in freezing temperatures in such crowded conditions and using one of those hundreds of porto potties. I would much prefer to watch the history making event in the comfort of my own home, thank you very much. I hope Barack and Michelle will not hold that against me.

Silly As Putty

I never thought I'd see the day when I would like to think of my brain as silly putty. But it is true. It is healthy for our brains to have plasticity. It is my mission to make my brain as plastic as possible. A plastic brain is a learning brain. I want my neurons to be happy and childish. And that is the way playing with silly putty makes me feel.

How Cold Is It?

I heard tell on the TV yesterday that if you freeze a banana at -15 degrees for 5 hours, you can hammer a nail into wood with it. It's not quite cold enough to do that here so I'm just throwing it out there in case it is cold enough to try this out somewhere else. You never know when one needs to build something with a frozen banana hammer.

Easily Amused

While sipping my coffee this AM, I was watching the snow fall. The flakes are so very tiny and minuscule, they do not fall straight down but meander here and there much like dust motes in sunshine. At any rate, for some unknown reason, I found this to be quite fascinating. To hone in on the mundane, can be a very relaxing process which elicited in me the desire to hunker down to ride out the storm. However, according to the weather forecast, I will not get snowed in but the temperature is so cold out there I wish I were.

Pantless or Clueless?

Last week end, one of my former classmates participated in the 8th Annual No Pants 2k9 NYC Subway Ride sponsored by Improv Everywhere. 1200 to 1500 participated in this event in 30 degree temperatures. Even snow did not deter these pantless pedestrians. As for my friend, I think he may have just lucked out having timed his forgetting to finish getting dressed with this event. Next time, he may not be so fortunate.

Wake Up Call

Today I awoke to a strange sensation. It took me a few seconds to identify what had interrupted my dream. You see my pug likes to sleep under the covers. Apparently he found my belly button to be lick worthy. No need to check for navel lint today!

Drink More Coffee

I feel the pressure. I just found out the class president of my high school graduating class starts his day off by reading my blog. I now feel responsible for making sure his day starts off right. All I can think to say is John, you're in trouble. Better drink more coffee.

Keep Breathing!

For those of you contemplating going into cardiac arrest or anticipating the need for the Heimlich maneuver, please refrain from doing so until I get my CPR re certification this morning. Hope your face does not turn too purple as you wait!

Watch Out for Ice!

The weather forecast that had me worried pretty much turned into a non event, although the rain did make for some slick conditions in nearby regions. I managed to get home from work unscathed, until I attempted to get up my own steps. I hung on to the rail for dear life to successfully reach my destination. Ah, home, sweet home!

Winter Advisory

I get so sick of weather forecasters that make predictions of the worst case scenarios. Apparently, they would rather err in favor of too much than too little. Unfortunately, I take them at their word and live in dread and trepidation. I think I may pull the covers up over my head until spring.

Dumb Doing Occurances

I can't believe I have not done anything stupid enough to be worthy of writing about lately. I usually do something befuddling at least once a day. Maybe I do and forget about it? That is a frightening thought. I do often have to stop to remember what it was that I was going to do. So making lists helps out a great deal. I forget names when introduced to someone new but I have always had a problem with that even with a much younger brain. Anyway, I shall be on alert for any dumb doings to occur and write it down before I forget what it was. How's that for a New Year's Resolution? Dumb, eh? Let me write this one down.

Another Year Gone By

Another year has passed And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter And winter seems much colder.
I rack my brain for happy thoughts, To put down on my pad,
But lots of things, That come to mind Just make me kind of sad.
There was a time not long ago When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand About 'Living in the Past'.
We used to go to friends homes, Baseball games and lunches.
Now we go to therapy, to hospitals, And after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers, From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches And sleep the night away.
We used to go out dining, And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags, Come home and take a pill.

We used to travel often To places near and far.

Now we get backaches From riding in the car.

We used to go out shopping For new clothing at the Mall

But, now we never bother... All the sizes are too small.

That, my friend is how life is, And now my tale is told

So, enjoy each day and live it up... Before you're too darn old!