Sunday, May 31, 2009

Invitation to Disaster

Yesterday, I had opportunity to watch some of the"Man vs Wild" Marathon on the Discovery Channel with Bear Grylls. It made me realize I had better not be left stranded anywhere anytime soon. I doubt if I could survive being locked out of my own house much less forced to spend a night in a rain forest or some desert out in the middle of nowhere. Watching Bear trudging through fetid swamps eating lizards and snakes doe not inspire me to become more adventuress in the least. I wonder why a mother would name some kid Bear in the first place? I think she was inviting disaster by making him live up to her expectations. Had she named him Bob that show wouldn't even exist.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

More Exciting then Watching Paint Dry: Watching Weeds Grow!

I know I have disappointed my legions of fans (all nine of you) by being remiss in my blogging duties but when it is nice out I want to watch the sun shine. There have been countless reasons for my absence such as my dog Moose expects me to scratch him whenever I am awake and in his proximity. Even when it is dismal outside such as it has been the last few days I feel compelled to walk around the house looking for stuff to do so I can sufficiently ignore my household responsibilities until I fear an avalanche of dog hair may suffocate me and my family. I also find it necessary to watch my garden grow so I can obsess whether what is sprouting is a weed or not. An exciting addition to my gardening prowess is that nifty little over advertised technologically advanced device which enables one to grow things upside down! I think I may just have hit upon a new time saver which may afford me more time in which to blog. I have given up using commas in my post. I can now stop grueling over where a comma is appropriate or not. Phew! What a relief!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Happy Memorial Day!

I'm a firm believer every thing you need to know can be found online. Not so with hubby. Although he has learned how to turn on his own little notebook, he still prefers hard copies, that is books over cyberspace. Ever since his brain surgery last fall, he has become somewhat obsessive- compulsive. What ever he does, he throws himself in hook, line and sinker. Case in point: landscaping the front yard. He's bought upteen books on flowers, lawns, trees and scrubs. He is out there after dark working with the lights on. Yet another thing he did was run electricity out there. He put outlets all over the front of the house so we won't have to use extension cords to decorate at Christmas. We had a new front porch build and pavers put down. I must admit it is a BIG improvement even if has has gone overboard with the flowers and pots. Today, being Memorial Day, I opened the front door to find he must have gone out after dark and planted at least 25 flags all over the front yard. So here is a pic. He still has to do the grass and mulch. I feel like I need to sing the National Anthem in my own front yard.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Decisions, Decisions....

Mail order catalogues always seem to end in the powder room where it seems I have more time to ponder what I need. This morning, I can't decide which tee shirt I can't live without. "Just another poo flingin' day in the jungle," I believe in making sacrifices. Can I start with you?", "If I am talking, why aren't you taking notes?", "Yet, despite the look on my face, you are still talking", "I have no idea what I am doing out of bed", "How did you get past my spam folder?", "On a clear night I can hear the fish laughing", "I am a bad ass. You're just an ass", "To err is human. To arrrr is pirate", "There's no place like home. Go there.", "Mine is not one of those fancy self cleaning houses". I think perhaps my favorite: "The Queen is not amused!"

Sunday, May 17, 2009

My Dog is Amazing

The other day, I went out side to play ball with Moose, my Golden Retriever, who lives for tennis balls to chase. I threw one ball out into the yard but it never came down. Had to go inside to get another ball. A few days later, Moose is walking under the magnolia tree looking up at the branches. Lo and behold. he stares at something and starts barking his fool head off. How Moose was able to spy a green tennis ball caught in a branch with all those green leaves, I'll never know. We did manage to get it down so Moose once again could be reunited with his beloved tennis ball.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Nothing to Sneeze At

A sneeze can be cathartic. You get an itchy nose, sneeze and it is gone. Sneezes can also sneak up on you and catch you unaware. A sneeze can have a dark connotation, which is why people say "God bless you" to ward off evil spirits. But what I fear about a sneeze is a car accident. Since it is impossible to sneeze without closing your eyes, I worry that some unforeseen clamity will occur at exactly that precise moment. I have yet to drive off the road or side swipe anyone, not due to a sneeze yet anyway, but that doesn't mean it can't still happen. I would also be leary of having surgery by a surgeon with hay fever. Can't be too careful, you know.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Granny in Waiting

I am so trying to be the eternal optimist by imagining the prospect of one day becoming a grandmother while I still have the capability of being able to push a baby stroller. I fear the thought of forgetting where I put my grandchild until the baby cries in need of feeding or a diaper change. I want to spoil the child while I still can. My daughter has a cat which is at least warm blooded. Not so with my sons. One has a ball python or a bald python. One or the other, not sure which. My other son has a pet named Snuggles which sounds a bit more charming than it really is. Although it never comes out in the light of day, which suits me just fine. I cannot even imagine snuggling with Snuggles, an Emperor Scorpion. Makes my Wanna Be Grandmotherly Heart swell with pride.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

~*~Mother's Day Musings~*~

Had only I had been more observant.
Had only I had been more astute.
I wish I had become more like my Mother
Before she forgot to teach me
What needed to be taught.
If I had only.

Cancer is an adversarial foe, but Alzheimer's is the quintessential resignation, the ultimate defeat when you forget how to fight so submit. Allow me to start the fight before the enemy is identifiable. May bitterness not haunt me before my Mother's demise. I cannot blame the blameless. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Even though you do not remember me, I 'll always remember.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Wish a Nurse a Happy Nurse's Day!

I think nurses are pretty special people and not because I am one but because I know some pretty amazing people who are. Becoming a nurse is a calling which requires a life long commitment to a passion and dedication of wanting to help mankind overcome pain and disease. The value of service to others is no greater than the value we derive from our ability to serve.

Happy Nurse's Day! Happy Nurse's Week! Nurses rock!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Holy Guacomole!

It's time to break out the mariachi music, tequila, tacos, burritos, tortillas, moles, rice and beans, tamales and quesadillas. I just realized most of my Spanish knowledge is food based. I've come to appreciate Mexican food more lately. Putting all that aside, Mexico really does have something to celebrate with the abatement of the flu pandemic subsiding dramatically. I wish I knew how to dance Salsa, but the Mexican Hat dance is the best I can do. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Tit for Tat

Climbing up the basement steps, I involuntarily let out a bit of a derisive jeer that actually surprised me. I was contemptuously giddy with the idea of what I just did. I hope this does not make me a bad person. No, I did not bury my hubby in the deep dank confines of a murky cellar tomb, but I did do a load of laundry when he was taking a shower. That should teach him to sleep until noon! Serves him right! I am so evil. I hope this doesn't make you change your opinion of me. P.S. If my hubby ever goes missing, no need to dig up my basement, k? Just saying.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

All Dressed Up and No Where to Go

Darn! I missed the hat parade at the Kentucky Derby. I did watch on television but my chance to participate is scrubbed for yet another year. I am rooting for General Quarters though. Good luck, Tom! Now where am I going to wear this hat?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Word for the Day

I just found a new word I never knew existed! It is not a long word or highly technical in the least. It is rather comical actually and not in the way it sounds. Allow me to put it into a sentence and see if you can pick it out. You may only identify it cause you won't know what it means. At least that was the case with me anyway. I would like to create a rise in my readership by being risible. Well, there it is....risible. I could tell you what it meant, but is is more risible not to.