Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mystery Gardening

You know those seeds I toiled in the soil to plant a few weeks ago? Well, the seeds must have been defective cause surely it was not my planting skills, leaving them out at night when it was too cold or my forgetting to water them that hindered their germination. Not to mention, I neglected to label what they were and where I planted them thinking I'd remember what they were and where I planted them. HA! I did not! So maybe it was merciful that the seeds did not sprout, otherwise, I'd have tomatoes growing in my flower beds and Dianthus Deltoides growing in my vegetable garden. I do have a couple of sprouts hardy enough to have emerged though. I wonder what they are? Your guess is as good as mine. Hope it's not a weed.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

No Mexico for Me!

Let's face it, listening to news these days is a scary proposition. Some days, I am not even up to it. Other days, I obsess over it. Recently though, the Swine Flu has caught my attention. Just the name associated with it sounds far more serious than say the Piggley Wiggley Cold or the Porky Pig Bug. There could be varying strengths of it. Like the Piglet vs. Hog variations. This gives a whole new meaning to bringing home the bacon. Hold the mayo and the H1N1 virus please! As if the drug cartel was reason enough to not go to Mexico!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Inequality Among Germs

Why is it when hubby was sick last week, he could spend 3 days in bed and now that I caught what he gave me, I must be up and about as usual? Is it just mine or is it all men that think a minor cold is something life threatening requiring them to expect that we women were put on this earth to supply them with chicken soup and cough medicine? I mean, I ask for a tissue and you'd think it was a major inconvenience.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy Earth Day

I may be almost as old as dirt
but not as old as Mother Earth!
~Happy Earth Day~
In honor of Earth Day, I have allowed a few choice items to go green in my refrigerator!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Get Your Boob Lube On

There is a product out called Boob Lube by Save the Ta-tas that I am certain could literally be a life saver if used a directed, which is self breast examination in the shower. But as use as hand soap, it sucks. Although made by the finest ingredients, the scent is not appealing in the least. So by all means, support the ta-tas (pun intended) since they do donate a portion of every sale to breast cancer research, but go with another type of soap for all other purposes. Save the Boob Lube for the ta-tas to save a boob.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Piano Debut

So yesterday, I decided to check out my potential for being a musical savant. You know, one of those incredibly talented people that have the natural ability to play music without having to take lessons? I sat upon the piano bench, put my hands on the keyboard and waited. I was not inspired. I moved my fingers anyway. Ummm. Guess what? I am not so inclined. So if you were getting your hopes up to be invited to my recital at Carnegie Hall, I wouldn't count on it. Not in the near future anyway.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Saving Face

The other day, I was out running errands and sitting at a red light, when I noticed a car going cross traffic that was being driven by a woman without a face! I was positively gobsmacked! (I've been wanting to use that word ever since I heard Susan Boyle use it. If you don't know who she is, than by all means google her.) But back to this no face business. I heard face transplants are being performed more often but would hate to think people are destitute enough to part with their face because they lost their job due to the recession. Come on people, loosing face is just an expression and should not be taken literally. Unless you are Hannibal Lecter, that is. I was absolutely pondering all of this when I noticed my right eye was a bit blurry. During allergy season, I'm sure it is relatively common for eyes to accumulate gunk. I had an eye booger! I was so relieved there was an explanation to account for that missing face but I do hope face selling does not become a lucrative profession just the same. I doubt I'd have much to worry about though but Angelina Jolie better hold on to her's!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Who Wants to Look Like This?

Today, I was forced to look at a Vogue Magazine. Something that normally I would not give the time of day to, since I am so far removed from all that glamor and fancy smancy garb. The alternative would have been to people watch but those in my proximity were too depressing to gawk at. I was in this pseudo kinda gym called physical therapy, which actually was the antithesis of a work out room since probably being unfit is what brought us all together anyway. So rather than surmise why the elderly gentleman was being tortured so to sound like a squealing pig on market day while getting his leg bent backwards, I picked up said stray magazine which was only just a few months old. Who can afford or would want to dress like this? This Halloween parade of anorexic pubescents was surreal. You couldn't work in those clothes. You couldn't be comfortable in those clothes. The only reason for wearing those clothes is to get your picture taken so why bother? If I were to prance around in stilettos like that, surely I'd wind up being crippled in such bodily contortions that even a chiropractor could not untangle me. I'd be in need of medical attention and would end up where I already am. With other patients not wanting to look at me and looking at magazines they were not interested in.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

I am going to feel blessed. I am going to count my blessings. I am going to be happy. I am going to smile. I am going to laugh. I am going to sing. I am going to skip. I am going to dance. I am going to look for positive things from the past, in the present and in the future. I will find things to celebrate and throw a party. I will show gratitude for all I have and all the people in my life. I will love life and allow it to show!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Day Dream Believer

I am so much in awe of bloggers who spew forth such random streams of consciousness it appears as a dream sequence or a comedy skit on Saturday Night Live! Unfortunately, my brain is not programmed to work that way, try as I may to trick it into being. The closest thing to it was being on heavy duty pain meds which leads me to wonder what other bloggers do to induce psychedelic visions which are so craftily transformed into such engaging banter? Sometimes the effect is so far fetched it defies plausibility which is exactly why I find it so entertainingly intriguing. Thanks to you all for spicing up my humdrum existence with your witticisms and cock eyed views of the world!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Disappointed Main Line

I was so sorry for the loss of Villanova against North Carolina in the Final Fours last night. I did try to watch it off and on but the screeching of their shoes on the hardwood floor made me cringe. I did use mute. I went to Nursing School on the Main Line and we girls had a song we sang about the Villanova boys...."Let's have a V for Villanova, I for Intoxication, L for Love and L for Lust, A for Anything Goes, N for Never Spending Money, O for Other Girls, V for Virility and A for Animals!" It's funny the things we remember, when I have trouble remembering what I had for dinner last night.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Stupidity in Advertising

Why is seeing a couple each in their own bath tub on a beach suppose to be good advertising for Cialis? I don't get it? Is it the daily dose of Cialis that requires the need for more baths to be taken? Is the man taking a cold soaking to keep his lusts at bay? Is the woman taking a nice warm soak to soothe her parts of overused anatomy? Are they sexaholics that sell bathtubs to generate enough money for hubby to take Cialis on a daily basis? There is another ad for a similiar product whose name escapes me, but at least the guy has a big smile on his face. Now that is easier to relate to even if I can't remember what it's called. I do remember Cialis though. Maybe that's the point.