Monday, August 24, 2009

The World is Now a Safer Place

I just completed an online course for Disaster Preparedness. Now don't get your hopes up. It was only an hour's worth of info so don't expect me to dismantle a bomb or have the antidote for antrax or anything.

Friday, August 14, 2009

No Suckers for Me

I do enjoy Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family. That said, I do not understand the appeal of Farmtown, Mafia Wars and sending eggs and lollipops. What's the point? I almost resent that nonsense cluttering up the boards. I can block it I know but that blocks that friend altogether I do believe. So I put up with it. Perhaps someday when I become so decrepit I can do nothing but stare at my computer all day, I may just try those fun and games but I am not quite there yet.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Live & Learn

I got a new stove. The old one became unreliable. When the burner did not heat up, you had to thump the element with the flat of your hand pushing it toward the place where it connects to the range. Even then it would not always stay hot. Not only that, it was getting ugly looking and harder and harder to keep clean. The new one has a ceramic top and a convection oven. All this time, I thought it was called a confection oven to bake cakes and cookies. The flat line of my learning curve has peaked for the day.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover

Going outside to play ball with the dog this morning, I had a flashback. I was noticing all the clover growing in one particular portion of the yard. I found myself purposefully trying to find a four leaf clover when I was reminded you don't always find what you look for until you stop looking. When I was a little girl of 8 or 9 at the time, I tripped coming out of the side door of my house, where there were no steps fortunately. I tumbled out onto the grass and when I opened my eyes, there was a four leaf clover smack dab in front of my face. I often thought about that fortuitous fall and realize some times, when you are down and out, all you have to do is open your eyes to the possibilities you were unable to see from a higher perspective. That little tiny amount of hope equated in one four leaf clover can be the inspiration for unlimited possibilities. To think that I had to fall to find what I could not find when I was looking for one.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Not Wanting to Offend a Stranger

While in a hospital elevator, I noticed a man who was a dead ringer for Michael Jackson's father, Joe. Normally, if I thought someone bore a resemblance to someone famous, I might make mention of it. But in this case, I was uncertain if someone would consider it a compliment or an insult, so I thought best to keep my mouth shut.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Dead Give-Away Lost on Me

The other day, my husband asked if I knew who Oz was and I said I did. He then goes on to say he watched Oz on Oprah. (Now this should have been the dead give away but I had had a long day.) According to Oz, every man should take certain vitamins for optimal health. Here I was thinking to myself, why would anyone give credence to someone who looked and acted like Ozzy Osbourne? I kept my mouth shut and only later did it dawn on me he had been talking about Dr. Oz.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer

I've taken a sabbatical without actually meaning to do so. Life just got in the way is all. And to think I hadn't realized I had much of a life at all, but I guess I must. For all the trivial stuff to mount up to one massive blob of trivialtravity. (If that isn't a word, it should be.) I should not complain that I have been working too much cause I am grateful to have a job when so many are losing theirs. I should not complain about anything at all cause many people are far worse off. So if I am not heard from, from time to time, it's cause I am enjoying life in the slow lane. You know... those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Susie Sells Shells at the Sea Shore

Here I am at the shore in Ocean City, New Jersey and racking my brain trying to come up with something to write about. I traipsed around the boardwalk admiring or disapproving of the various fashion statements of the day. I think things like when I was their age, I looked as good as they do and I could have worn that in my time. I also compare myself to people my own age and think I look younger than they do or I am not as heavy as that. Of course, if they are younger and thinner than myself, I just ignore them to look for the more decrepid so I can feel more superior. Tomorrow, I plan on going to the beach so I can think malicious thoughts like with knockers like that, they will be hanging to her knees when she is my age. Just let her jog like that then and she will be giving herself black eyes....HA!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Low & Behold

My Mother's room mate, although 92, appears to be quite with it, as I had determined while watching birds visit the bird feeder outside her window. I remarked about the red winged blackbirds that I do not see from my locale, a mere 10 miles away. The room mate was quick to announce that they were nothing compared to the white peacocks that visited upon occasion. At this point, I doubted her reliability since surely white peacocks were not likely to visit. As I was leaving, I inquired at the Nursing Desk if my Mom's room mate was entirely lucid and was assured she was, so I mentioned the white peacocks. Low and behold, a neighboring property did possess said peacocks, so I smiled glad to think the age of 92 is obtainable without lapse of mental facilities. I only wish that could be said for my Mother.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Grown Up at Last

When I visited my mother, who is a resident at Willowbrooke Court, which actually is as lovely as it sounds, it took a while for her to identify me by whom I was not. My sister is not my Mother nor am I my deceased Aunt. I am not Eva, a childhood friend. Finally, she admitted having a daughter by my name but looked incredulous when I told her that was me. She looked at me hard and said without batting an eye....."You grew up!"

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Come Again Some Other Day

Today, when I was taking a shower, I thought what's the point of getting out? It's been raining outside for days now so why not stay in here where I can control the water temperature and not have to deal with umbrellas. This made sense to me until I started to feel guilty for using so much water in my solitary pursuit. Perhaps if I was sharing the shower, I could rationalize staying in longer but that was not the case. So I got out of the shower. Then I thought, why bother drying off since I will be getting wet when I go out. Why bother drying my hair when it too will only be getting wet again. Then reality set in and I realized just how wet can one person get walking only 30 feet outside to get into a car? Rain, rain, go away. You are making me water logged and soggy in the head!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Woe is Me!

All along, I thought tobacco addition would be the only addition for me to overcome. And I did do that when the nicotine patch first came out about 15 + years ago or it seems to me. Having fought that battle more than once, I was determined to do it permanently that time and I did! I then felt the superiority of accomplishment that only an ex-smoker can experience and it did cause me to look down upon cigarette smokers at large. They were so duped! How stupid were they to penalize their own health. But what just happened to me I did not see coming. I got sucked into the Internet vortex so much so that when my Fios connection went phooey and I lost not only my phone and TV but also my computer access, I felt crazed!! Horror of horrors! Not for one day but for five whole days! It will not be fixed until Tuesday, so as you can tell, I am posting from where I work. I wish I had a computer patch to get me over this void. And a Head's Up: Verizon looks good until you need servicing.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Cause Your Face Looks Like This

Over the week end, I played toss the beach ball with an energetic six year old. Well, the toss part soon became a version of dodge ball of sorts with goals to win points. His goal line was anything I could not reach and my goal line was the opening of a pop up tent. See the problem here? Is it no wonder Wonder Boy was winning this game? At some point, I was asked if I was having fun. Sure, I said, why do you ask? Cause your face looks like this, I was told. Well, it didn't look like that for long cause that kid sure does know how to make me smile.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Spring Fever

Optimism. That is what I call this idea of starting a post with nary an idea of what to write. It has always been a challenge to find the words to fill a blank page. In this month of June, where green proliferation abounds, surely I should find a plethora of subjects to expound at great lengths. Not so, unfortunately. So I will plead being a victim of Spring Fever. I best do this before Summer arrives and I loose the excuse. This is the time of year to daydream afterall. I rest my case. Think I'll go watch the birds.....

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Speed Racer

I was just asked if I "feel the need for speed". Of course, it was a TV commercial which makes me think no one really cares what my answer might be. But why ask something if no response is required? Now I am left pondering this query trying to decide if I need speed or not. And once I come to my conclusion, whom do I tell? Will my desire for speed qualify me as an astronaut for Nasa's Space Shuttle program? Actually, the commercial was for the Philadelphia Bike Race and not some illicit market for methamphetamine. At my age, the need for speed would probably classify me as some space cadet whose only speedy need would be a hopped up rocking chair.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Invitation to Disaster

Yesterday, I had opportunity to watch some of the"Man vs Wild" Marathon on the Discovery Channel with Bear Grylls. It made me realize I had better not be left stranded anywhere anytime soon. I doubt if I could survive being locked out of my own house much less forced to spend a night in a rain forest or some desert out in the middle of nowhere. Watching Bear trudging through fetid swamps eating lizards and snakes doe not inspire me to become more adventuress in the least. I wonder why a mother would name some kid Bear in the first place? I think she was inviting disaster by making him live up to her expectations. Had she named him Bob that show wouldn't even exist.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

More Exciting then Watching Paint Dry: Watching Weeds Grow!

I know I have disappointed my legions of fans (all nine of you) by being remiss in my blogging duties but when it is nice out I want to watch the sun shine. There have been countless reasons for my absence such as my dog Moose expects me to scratch him whenever I am awake and in his proximity. Even when it is dismal outside such as it has been the last few days I feel compelled to walk around the house looking for stuff to do so I can sufficiently ignore my household responsibilities until I fear an avalanche of dog hair may suffocate me and my family. I also find it necessary to watch my garden grow so I can obsess whether what is sprouting is a weed or not. An exciting addition to my gardening prowess is that nifty little over advertised technologically advanced device which enables one to grow things upside down! I think I may just have hit upon a new time saver which may afford me more time in which to blog. I have given up using commas in my post. I can now stop grueling over where a comma is appropriate or not. Phew! What a relief!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Happy Memorial Day!

I'm a firm believer every thing you need to know can be found online. Not so with hubby. Although he has learned how to turn on his own little notebook, he still prefers hard copies, that is books over cyberspace. Ever since his brain surgery last fall, he has become somewhat obsessive- compulsive. What ever he does, he throws himself in hook, line and sinker. Case in point: landscaping the front yard. He's bought upteen books on flowers, lawns, trees and scrubs. He is out there after dark working with the lights on. Yet another thing he did was run electricity out there. He put outlets all over the front of the house so we won't have to use extension cords to decorate at Christmas. We had a new front porch build and pavers put down. I must admit it is a BIG improvement even if has has gone overboard with the flowers and pots. Today, being Memorial Day, I opened the front door to find he must have gone out after dark and planted at least 25 flags all over the front yard. So here is a pic. He still has to do the grass and mulch. I feel like I need to sing the National Anthem in my own front yard.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Decisions, Decisions....

Mail order catalogues always seem to end in the powder room where it seems I have more time to ponder what I need. This morning, I can't decide which tee shirt I can't live without. "Just another poo flingin' day in the jungle," I believe in making sacrifices. Can I start with you?", "If I am talking, why aren't you taking notes?", "Yet, despite the look on my face, you are still talking", "I have no idea what I am doing out of bed", "How did you get past my spam folder?", "On a clear night I can hear the fish laughing", "I am a bad ass. You're just an ass", "To err is human. To arrrr is pirate", "There's no place like home. Go there.", "Mine is not one of those fancy self cleaning houses". I think perhaps my favorite: "The Queen is not amused!"

Sunday, May 17, 2009

My Dog is Amazing

The other day, I went out side to play ball with Moose, my Golden Retriever, who lives for tennis balls to chase. I threw one ball out into the yard but it never came down. Had to go inside to get another ball. A few days later, Moose is walking under the magnolia tree looking up at the branches. Lo and behold. he stares at something and starts barking his fool head off. How Moose was able to spy a green tennis ball caught in a branch with all those green leaves, I'll never know. We did manage to get it down so Moose once again could be reunited with his beloved tennis ball.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Nothing to Sneeze At

A sneeze can be cathartic. You get an itchy nose, sneeze and it is gone. Sneezes can also sneak up on you and catch you unaware. A sneeze can have a dark connotation, which is why people say "God bless you" to ward off evil spirits. But what I fear about a sneeze is a car accident. Since it is impossible to sneeze without closing your eyes, I worry that some unforeseen clamity will occur at exactly that precise moment. I have yet to drive off the road or side swipe anyone, not due to a sneeze yet anyway, but that doesn't mean it can't still happen. I would also be leary of having surgery by a surgeon with hay fever. Can't be too careful, you know.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Granny in Waiting

I am so trying to be the eternal optimist by imagining the prospect of one day becoming a grandmother while I still have the capability of being able to push a baby stroller. I fear the thought of forgetting where I put my grandchild until the baby cries in need of feeding or a diaper change. I want to spoil the child while I still can. My daughter has a cat which is at least warm blooded. Not so with my sons. One has a ball python or a bald python. One or the other, not sure which. My other son has a pet named Snuggles which sounds a bit more charming than it really is. Although it never comes out in the light of day, which suits me just fine. I cannot even imagine snuggling with Snuggles, an Emperor Scorpion. Makes my Wanna Be Grandmotherly Heart swell with pride.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

~*~Mother's Day Musings~*~

Had only I had been more observant.
Had only I had been more astute.
I wish I had become more like my Mother
Before she forgot to teach me
What needed to be taught.
If I had only.

Cancer is an adversarial foe, but Alzheimer's is the quintessential resignation, the ultimate defeat when you forget how to fight so submit. Allow me to start the fight before the enemy is identifiable. May bitterness not haunt me before my Mother's demise. I cannot blame the blameless. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Even though you do not remember me, I 'll always remember.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Wish a Nurse a Happy Nurse's Day!

I think nurses are pretty special people and not because I am one but because I know some pretty amazing people who are. Becoming a nurse is a calling which requires a life long commitment to a passion and dedication of wanting to help mankind overcome pain and disease. The value of service to others is no greater than the value we derive from our ability to serve.

Happy Nurse's Day! Happy Nurse's Week! Nurses rock!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Holy Guacomole!

It's time to break out the mariachi music, tequila, tacos, burritos, tortillas, moles, rice and beans, tamales and quesadillas. I just realized most of my Spanish knowledge is food based. I've come to appreciate Mexican food more lately. Putting all that aside, Mexico really does have something to celebrate with the abatement of the flu pandemic subsiding dramatically. I wish I knew how to dance Salsa, but the Mexican Hat dance is the best I can do. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Tit for Tat

Climbing up the basement steps, I involuntarily let out a bit of a derisive jeer that actually surprised me. I was contemptuously giddy with the idea of what I just did. I hope this does not make me a bad person. No, I did not bury my hubby in the deep dank confines of a murky cellar tomb, but I did do a load of laundry when he was taking a shower. That should teach him to sleep until noon! Serves him right! I am so evil. I hope this doesn't make you change your opinion of me. P.S. If my hubby ever goes missing, no need to dig up my basement, k? Just saying.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

All Dressed Up and No Where to Go

Darn! I missed the hat parade at the Kentucky Derby. I did watch on television but my chance to participate is scrubbed for yet another year. I am rooting for General Quarters though. Good luck, Tom! Now where am I going to wear this hat?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Word for the Day

I just found a new word I never knew existed! It is not a long word or highly technical in the least. It is rather comical actually and not in the way it sounds. Allow me to put it into a sentence and see if you can pick it out. You may only identify it cause you won't know what it means. At least that was the case with me anyway. I would like to create a rise in my readership by being risible. Well, there it is....risible. I could tell you what it meant, but is is more risible not to.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mystery Gardening

You know those seeds I toiled in the soil to plant a few weeks ago? Well, the seeds must have been defective cause surely it was not my planting skills, leaving them out at night when it was too cold or my forgetting to water them that hindered their germination. Not to mention, I neglected to label what they were and where I planted them thinking I'd remember what they were and where I planted them. HA! I did not! So maybe it was merciful that the seeds did not sprout, otherwise, I'd have tomatoes growing in my flower beds and Dianthus Deltoides growing in my vegetable garden. I do have a couple of sprouts hardy enough to have emerged though. I wonder what they are? Your guess is as good as mine. Hope it's not a weed.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

No Mexico for Me!

Let's face it, listening to news these days is a scary proposition. Some days, I am not even up to it. Other days, I obsess over it. Recently though, the Swine Flu has caught my attention. Just the name associated with it sounds far more serious than say the Piggley Wiggley Cold or the Porky Pig Bug. There could be varying strengths of it. Like the Piglet vs. Hog variations. This gives a whole new meaning to bringing home the bacon. Hold the mayo and the H1N1 virus please! As if the drug cartel was reason enough to not go to Mexico!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Inequality Among Germs

Why is it when hubby was sick last week, he could spend 3 days in bed and now that I caught what he gave me, I must be up and about as usual? Is it just mine or is it all men that think a minor cold is something life threatening requiring them to expect that we women were put on this earth to supply them with chicken soup and cough medicine? I mean, I ask for a tissue and you'd think it was a major inconvenience.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy Earth Day

I may be almost as old as dirt
but not as old as Mother Earth!
~Happy Earth Day~
In honor of Earth Day, I have allowed a few choice items to go green in my refrigerator!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Get Your Boob Lube On

There is a product out called Boob Lube by Save the Ta-tas that I am certain could literally be a life saver if used a directed, which is self breast examination in the shower. But as use as hand soap, it sucks. Although made by the finest ingredients, the scent is not appealing in the least. So by all means, support the ta-tas (pun intended) since they do donate a portion of every sale to breast cancer research, but go with another type of soap for all other purposes. Save the Boob Lube for the ta-tas to save a boob.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Piano Debut

So yesterday, I decided to check out my potential for being a musical savant. You know, one of those incredibly talented people that have the natural ability to play music without having to take lessons? I sat upon the piano bench, put my hands on the keyboard and waited. I was not inspired. I moved my fingers anyway. Ummm. Guess what? I am not so inclined. So if you were getting your hopes up to be invited to my recital at Carnegie Hall, I wouldn't count on it. Not in the near future anyway.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Saving Face

The other day, I was out running errands and sitting at a red light, when I noticed a car going cross traffic that was being driven by a woman without a face! I was positively gobsmacked! (I've been wanting to use that word ever since I heard Susan Boyle use it. If you don't know who she is, than by all means google her.) But back to this no face business. I heard face transplants are being performed more often but would hate to think people are destitute enough to part with their face because they lost their job due to the recession. Come on people, loosing face is just an expression and should not be taken literally. Unless you are Hannibal Lecter, that is. I was absolutely pondering all of this when I noticed my right eye was a bit blurry. During allergy season, I'm sure it is relatively common for eyes to accumulate gunk. I had an eye booger! I was so relieved there was an explanation to account for that missing face but I do hope face selling does not become a lucrative profession just the same. I doubt I'd have much to worry about though but Angelina Jolie better hold on to her's!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Who Wants to Look Like This?

Today, I was forced to look at a Vogue Magazine. Something that normally I would not give the time of day to, since I am so far removed from all that glamor and fancy smancy garb. The alternative would have been to people watch but those in my proximity were too depressing to gawk at. I was in this pseudo kinda gym called physical therapy, which actually was the antithesis of a work out room since probably being unfit is what brought us all together anyway. So rather than surmise why the elderly gentleman was being tortured so to sound like a squealing pig on market day while getting his leg bent backwards, I picked up said stray magazine which was only just a few months old. Who can afford or would want to dress like this? This Halloween parade of anorexic pubescents was surreal. You couldn't work in those clothes. You couldn't be comfortable in those clothes. The only reason for wearing those clothes is to get your picture taken so why bother? If I were to prance around in stilettos like that, surely I'd wind up being crippled in such bodily contortions that even a chiropractor could not untangle me. I'd be in need of medical attention and would end up where I already am. With other patients not wanting to look at me and looking at magazines they were not interested in.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

I am going to feel blessed. I am going to count my blessings. I am going to be happy. I am going to smile. I am going to laugh. I am going to sing. I am going to skip. I am going to dance. I am going to look for positive things from the past, in the present and in the future. I will find things to celebrate and throw a party. I will show gratitude for all I have and all the people in my life. I will love life and allow it to show!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Day Dream Believer

I am so much in awe of bloggers who spew forth such random streams of consciousness it appears as a dream sequence or a comedy skit on Saturday Night Live! Unfortunately, my brain is not programmed to work that way, try as I may to trick it into being. The closest thing to it was being on heavy duty pain meds which leads me to wonder what other bloggers do to induce psychedelic visions which are so craftily transformed into such engaging banter? Sometimes the effect is so far fetched it defies plausibility which is exactly why I find it so entertainingly intriguing. Thanks to you all for spicing up my humdrum existence with your witticisms and cock eyed views of the world!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Disappointed Main Line

I was so sorry for the loss of Villanova against North Carolina in the Final Fours last night. I did try to watch it off and on but the screeching of their shoes on the hardwood floor made me cringe. I did use mute. I went to Nursing School on the Main Line and we girls had a song we sang about the Villanova boys...."Let's have a V for Villanova, I for Intoxication, L for Love and L for Lust, A for Anything Goes, N for Never Spending Money, O for Other Girls, V for Virility and A for Animals!" It's funny the things we remember, when I have trouble remembering what I had for dinner last night.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Stupidity in Advertising

Why is seeing a couple each in their own bath tub on a beach suppose to be good advertising for Cialis? I don't get it? Is it the daily dose of Cialis that requires the need for more baths to be taken? Is the man taking a cold soaking to keep his lusts at bay? Is the woman taking a nice warm soak to soothe her parts of overused anatomy? Are they sexaholics that sell bathtubs to generate enough money for hubby to take Cialis on a daily basis? There is another ad for a similiar product whose name escapes me, but at least the guy has a big smile on his face. Now that is easier to relate to even if I can't remember what it's called. I do remember Cialis though. Maybe that's the point.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Could Happen to Anybody

Well, it did not warrant a big belly shaking guffaw accompanied by chortles and cackles with tears streaming down my face, but it did elicit a little smile and chuckle just the same. Yesterday, when I realized my shoe lace had come untied, I bent over to tie my shoe, when I noticed I was wearing two different sneakers. No big deal. No one noticed but me and it wasn't like it was a high heel and a cowboy boot or something. Now that would have been much funnier. Just goes to show I'm still human after all.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Veggie Vexation

I used to plant a vegetable garden when the kids were young. My mother grew up on a farm, so naturally had a green thumb, but it was not passed on to me. I thought children should witness the miracle of growth. Unfortunately, weeds grow too and I could not convince them it was fun to pull weeds, although they did like to play with the garden hose, primarily to squirt one another. With the price of food going up, I decided it was time to try once more. Seeds were bought and sewn in a small flat covered with a pane of glass. Only time will tell if I am a worthy weed opponent.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Assets vs. Asses

All this talk about "toxic assets" has me stymied. Even after listening to various so called experts trying to explain it, I am still left scratching my head. One journalist claimed to break it down to the simplest level by the use of apples being affected by worms. You didn't know what you had until you cut into it. If bank held houses were compared to apples, does that mean some houses had termites? See what I mean? Sounds like comparing apples to oranges to me. Now toxic asses I can relate to. I can only admit to being married to one, cause I know he doesn't read my blog. And if he does, I'll soon find out.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Boys Will Be Boys

I was privy to a conversation between brothers aged 11 and 6. Having two sons of my own, I was not shocked by the content of subject matter. Grossology and boys go hand and hand. The gist of it went something like this: if you had to eat one or the other, which would you rather eat, puke or poop? The older boy wanted to know what was in the vomit. If it contained hot dogs, then definitely he would go for it. Than the younger brother devised one of his own. What would you rather eat: a stinky skunk or your own foot? At the time, I was not in the mood for fun and games, so replied I did not have time to waste thinking about such silly nonsense. Now, I regret I did not make the time. Life is too fleeting and I would definitely not eat my own foot.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'm Disturbed Enough Already

I have been made to feel a bit disturbed about a few things of late. One is a commercial I just witnessed showing two pigs dining out on ham of all things! That's just wrong! Then, there is the possible outlawing of Brazilian wax jobs in New Jersey. What's with that? It's a good thing that I live in Pennsy. That's all I'm saying. On top of everything else, the government is looking in to Robotic Dogs! Has anyone else watched the bigdog clips on youtube? This is freaky stuff! It looks like two headless guys carrying a couch! And that hideous buzzing it makes sound like a bee swarm from hell! I fear going to sleep tonight, in case my nightmares will be even scarier than reality.

Picnic Sign Up Sheet

I was wondering what new claim to fame would top my seeing George Bush Jr. on a plane in Hawaii. Prior to that, I laid claim to once shaking Hilliary Clinton's hand when her husband was still in office. Other than that, my life has been pretty humdrum, until the other day. I made a reference to one of my favorite bloggers Vic 's immense crowd of crazed lunatic followers as Vic's Chicks & Dicks and Vic picked up on that and created Vic's Chix & Dix. I think this would look exceptionally good on tee shirts which we all could wear on our annual Vic's Chix & Dix Fan Club Picnic which should be scheduled very appropriately on April Fool's Day, don't you think? We should start signing up for what each of us should contribute. Put me down for the Styrofoam cups. Vic's neighbor will supply the bananas. Nuff said.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Lost in Space

Did anyone else see the news segment about that treasure hunter who claims to have discovered a sunken ship using Google Maps and is petitioning the courts for the rights to excavate? It boogles my mind to think the time I spend online could be put to better use by searching for buried treasures. Who knows what fortunes I may have discovered by now? If anyone else has such skills to hone in on lost artifacts, please consider looking for my lost car keys that dh misplaced while I was away on vacation. I've been home a week and still have not located them yet. Just asking.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mom Morphing

When I was growing up, I was always told that I took after my father with my big brown eyes, so I am not so sure when I started to morph into becoming my Mom. Whenever I visit my Mom in the Medical Facility of the Lifetime Community Center, which she so looked forward to moving into, everyone recognizes me without being told that I am her daughter. Truth be told, this makes me sad, because my own Mother does not recognize me anymore. Strangers know what she has forgotten. But she is happy, comfortable, and well cared for without a care in the world, so it would appear. As I bid farewell today and looked into her face so much like my own, I told her "I love you, Mom. Now, what do you say back?" Expecting her to say, I love you too, I was taken aback when she looked hopeful that she came up with the right response, "Merry Christmas?" Yes, Mom, Merry Christmas to you too.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Mad Mad Libber on Loose

I received this weird e-mail offering weekly revenues of 1 to 3k per week. Why would anyone want to do any business with someone who would include this strange post?

"Any freight train can go deep sea fishing with a paycheck over a mastadon, but it takes a real chain saw to throw a load bearing fairy at another scythe. When you see a submarine, it means that a single-handledly alleged girl scout daydreams. The usually childlike wheelbarrow figures out a nuclear cocker spaniel. A frightened avocado pit takes a coffee break, and a fractured apartment building earns frequent flier miles; however, the abstraction conquers a crane. Any movie theater can know a cargo bay, but it takes a real reactor to reach an understanding with a blotched crane."

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Paradise Lost

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, vacations not withstanding. It was a very lovely vacation which I can remember fondly. I would love to go back someday. Aloha, Hawaii and mahalo.