2009 Will be Fine!

May your New Year be filled with happiness, joy and fulfillment. May your desires be made manifest and your dreams a reality. Allow fortune to shine upon you as you rejoice in your rewards. Follow your heart and be jubilant where it takes you. Always see your glass as half full. Remember to smile and make friends along the way.

2008 in Three Words

On GMA this morning, they did a segment on describing your year in just three words. The people that were interviewed came up with some superlative and some simple terms. Some over the top, some down to earth. Mine tend to be down to earth. I think I would chose appreciated, fulfilled and contented. That would be on a good day at least. I will be staying at home to welcome in the New Year, maybe awake, maybe not.

Is Yours Big Enough?

I was watching Modern Marvels on the History Channel when I heard that if you put a large enough diamond on your tongue, your tongue will feel cold, as the diamond will draw in heat. I tried it. My diamond is NOT big enough. I wonder how many I will inspire to try this with their own diamond?

Time to Make the Donuts

Sometimes, as I lie in bed in the morning trying to recall the reason I need to get up, I think of this motivational mantra, "Time to make the donuts." This retro memory goes back to the early 80's. It usually works for me, although followed by the disappointment that there are no donuts to be had.

Pet Therapy

Petting your dog is a good tonic for the post Christmas doldrums. It is also a post requisite having watched Marley & Me. My dogs are super therapists. Well worth the price of kibble.

~*~Merry Christmas~*~

Merry Christmas to all from my house to yours!

Marvelous Marvels

As much as I like all the high teck technology, I fail to understand mostly anything about it. I am perplexed as to how and where all this internet stuff is housed? It's like there is some vault of unlimited capacity that all of the world's knowledge is compiled. Even my measly little posts go somewhere out there to be called upon to appear on computers all over the universe. It blows my mind. And then I ponder on how Santa does all that he does on Christmas Eve. There is always something to be marveled about.

That Lil'Ole Pizzelle Maker Me

When I was a teenager, my mother acquired a pizzelle maker. Each year there after, we made pizzelles together for the holidays. After I was married, she passed down the cookie maker to me, so the tradition could be continued. And it was, until such time it became no longer functional. Recently, I bought a replacement model which is much improved with a nonstick surface and indicator light to gauge desired degree of crispness. So once again, I am happily making batches of pizzelles and, here comes the unfortunate part, I am eating them as well.

Shamelessly Shoppertunistic

A new word has been coined this holiday season that I have not heard before. Shoppertunistic. Word check wants to change it to opportunistic which does kind of lend itself to the implied meaning: opportunistic as it applies to shopping. In today's economy, it's the only way to be. Unless, it is deciphered to imply one would shop at every opportunity. Hmmmmm? I'm left scratching my head. Doesn't take much to confuse me. Would you take shamelessly shoppertunistic as a good or bad thing to be?

*^&*%$#@&%? !!

A Christmas Story is my favorite Christmas movie of all time. It is reminiscent of the time when I grew up plus I can identify with being a mother of sons with a husband who knows how to curse under stress.

I have much yet to do for the holidays. I too can curse under stress.

Knock, Knock....

When my second son was ten or eleven years old, he must have been worried about meeting Mrs. Right because he asked me this: " How do I find a wife? Do I have to go door to door?"

After all these years, now that he is thirty two years old and still single, I finally came up with an answer. Yes, son, start going door to door. And good luck. Make sure you brush your teeth and put on clean underwear.

If I were a Santa

If I were a rockin' Santa,

You know what I'd do?

I'd dump the silly gifts

That are given to you.

I'd deliver some things

Just inside your front door

Things you have lost,

But treasured before.

I'd give you back all

Your maidenly vigor,

And to go along with it,

A neat, tiny figure;

Then restore the old color

That once graced your hair

Before rinses and bleaches

Took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape

With which you were gifted,

So things now suspended

Need not be uplifted.

I'd draw in your tummy

And smooth down your back

Till you'd be a dream

In those tight fitting slacks!

I'd remove all your wrinkles

And leave only one chin,

So you wouldn't spend hours

Rubbing grease on your skin.

You'd never have flashes

Or queer dizzy spells,

And you wouldn't hear noises

Like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet,

And no corns on your toes

No searching for spectacles

When they're right on your nose.

Not a shot would you take

In your arm, hip or fanny

From a doctor who thinks

You're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have a headache,

So no pills would you take.

And no heating pad needed

Since your muscles won't ache.

Yes, if I were Santa,

You'd never look stupid.

You'd be a cute little chick

With the romance of a cupid.

I'd give a lift to your heart

When those wolves start to whistle,

And the joys of your heart

Would be light as a thistle.

But alas! I'm not Santa.

I'm simply just me,

The matronest of matrons

You ever did see.

I wish I could tell you

All the symptoms I've got,

But I'm due at my doctor's

For an estrogen shot.

Even though we've grown older

This wish is sincere:

Merry Christmas to you!

And a Happy New Year!

~Author Unknown

Not Recommended

Today, I poured orange juice on my cereal. I do not recommend this combination even though I realize it all gets mixed up anyway after it gets to where it goes. Even the dogs turned up their noses at it which is unprecedented!

I'm Exhausted!

I hate to drive at night but, during this hectic time of year, I am forced to go Christmas shopping after dark. One night, I return to my SUV laden with packages, stow them away in the back, climb into the seat, fasten seat belt, turn on the ignition, put it in reverse to back out of the parking space when all of a sudden what looks like a white horse charges past the rear of my vehicle! My reflex was to stomp on the brake harder than necessary since I was barely moving at the time. Only then, did I realize I braked for my own exhaust! I sure do keep myself amused!

Wanna Be Grandma

So many of my friends have grandchildren to brag about and to send me their pictures. My own kids are quite old enough to have well established families but they don't. In fact, none of my three are even married. So in the presence of little babies, I get all starry-eyed, drool, make silly faces and talk baby talk making the parents leery to even have me around, much less be able to hold their infant. Even when I promise not to abscond with their child to take them to the park or visit Santa Claus can I calm their fears. My fingers quiver as I reach out to embrace the little bundles of joy. I swoon as I breathe in that fresh baby scent. I clutch them to my breast as I automatically sway back and forth and croon lullabies into tiny ears. How pathetic is that! I am a very patient person and I do know that the grandchild I am waiting for will be well worth the wait, no matter how long it takes. Although I may be too old to push them around in their stroller, I am certain I'll be able to hold them in my lap in my rocking chair, hopefully without dropping.

X Rated Ornaments

Here is the answer everyone has been waiting for! What does Santa really hid with his long white beard? And Mrs. Claus under her aprons? The answers to these profound and curious queries can be found hanging on my Christmas tree. Special thanks to my sis who gave me these x-rated ornaments.

O Christmas Tree

This year putting up the Christmas tree was a solitary performance. Not that I really minded doing it by myself for I rather enjoy the peaceful activity done in solitude while reflecting on memories past. Each ornament holds a special meaning. Some old. Some new. Some homemade. Some child made. Some unique. Some commonplace. But each one contributing to the beauty of the whole. My tree does not vary much year to year. A few new trinkets added here and there. This year, the old strands of lights were replaced with the new energy efficient LED lights. The new lights shine just as bright as the ones I remember in my child's eye when I was a little girl of ten. Somethings always stay the same since perfection cannot be improved upon.

You are Only as Old

I know my real age but I still remember being much younger, so does that count? I hope so.

Amazing Birth

For those that missed the incredible birthing process, the count is up to eight with perhaps one more to go. During the night, there were close to 200 viewers watching at one time from all over the world. http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shayla-&-her-golden-retriever-puppies

The pups on the right were from a previous litter born to Sydney in 2003.

Joys of Owning Pets

Three dark O'thirty in the morning, I was sleeping like a baby with Siri the cat cradled in my arms. Out of no where, I heard erkle, erkle, bleh, splat and the sensation of warmth on my pajamas. I jumped out of bed, flew into the bathroom disrobing as I fled, washed my hands and shook on some baby powder (seemed appropriate at the time). I could still hear Siri retching elsewhere in the house. I climbed back under the covers to commence sleeping. When I awoke not wearing any pj's I knew it was not from any canoodling going on. I arose to shower, pulled open the shower curtain only to find a cat had peed on the drain. If a cat is to use the bathroom, at least they could learn to pee on the toilet. Ah, yes, yet another day of the joys of pet ownership!

Oh Dear, Deer!

One evening last week, I was driving home from work in the dark, when a herd of bison ran across the road. Okay, so it may have been three or four deer, but the reflex to step on the brakes was just as strong. For some reason, instinctively, I threw out my right arm to prevent my non existing passenger from sustaining any head trauma in the event they were not wearing their seat belt or the air bag would not deploy. Who knows? But it worked, cause we both survived the incident intact. And no deer, or bison, were injured in the reenactment of this event.

Puppy Cam

A Canadian friend of mine is the most responsible Golden Retriever breeder of highest repute. Five years ago, when Shasha was due to give birth, I suggested that she stream the video so all her friends could witness the momentous occasion. She said she would if she had a video cam, so I sent her one. No excuses now. A few years and few litters hence, it is time for Shayla to whelp her first litter. So once again, I am glued to the screen. It could be anytime now but probably closer to Wednesday. Here is the link, in case anyone is interested:

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shayla-&-her-golden-retriever-puppies

It's up and running in the evenings and into the night, I do believe. Shayla and Mom like to sleep in in the mornings. Better get caught up on sleep now cause once those pups pop out, there will be no rest for the weary.

How Old is Old?

A little while ago I had a conversation with an eleven year old who made this blanket statement of "I don't like old people". I ventured to ask, "Why not?" Reply, "They smell." Thinking he must of had an unfortunate visit to one of those nursing homes that reek of incontinence, I ventured forward with another question. "How old do you have to be to be old?" Reply, "Sixty." Me, "Do you know how old I am?" He,"No." Me, "Sixty One. Do I smell?" I hope I raised his age requirement up a level to at least a sixty-five. By the way, he assured me that I didn't. Smell, that is. Phew! Funny thing is, when I was his age, I thought sixty was old too. But not anymore! After all, sixty is the new forty!

Christmas Elves

Why is whatever is lost always found in the last place you would ever look? Because you would no longer have to search for it, of course! Duh! After convincing myself that over obsessing about my keys was not the best use of my time at this busy time of year, I commenced with my usual household chores. Sure enough, that's when I found them. As I was putting away clean clothes, my keys were in the bottom of the laundry basket. Now if I could only get those mischievous little elves to help me get ready for the holidays instead of hiding my things, I'd be in good shape!

Oh Where Oh Where Can It Be?

I did something two days ago that is driving me absolutely bonkers! I have thought of little else since without resolve. I will continue to think, rethink, retrace my steps and tear the house apart until this mystery is solved. I will call upon all the powers that be and then some with all my spiritual prowess. I will not admit defeat! I will tell you what it is I am looking for as soon as I remember what it is. Ha! Just kidding. It's my car keys!

and start getting ready for the holidays.

I Am So Gullible

I am so gullible, I should not watch infomercials. I am easily convinced that I cannot live without the product they are trying to sell. My newest acquisition, Core Rhythms Dance Exercise Program: drop weight and tone your abs the fast and fun way with rhythmic Latin Dance. They make it look so easy on Dancing with the Stars. I'll let you know how I make out, even if it may mean from the Emergency Room.

Vamp Addict

I don't know how my son got interested in vampire novels but he did. Probably because he has read just about everything else since he is such a voracious reader. Anyway, he passed the books on to me and I got hooked. Just to two of the series. One became a show on HBO, Trueblood and the other came out with the first movie of the sequel called Twilight. I used to think vampires were just part of legends but now they have crawled their way out of the crypts to become part of the everyday world demanding equal rights with the living. Synthetic blood has made it possible for them to exist without requiring human hosts. So if you are looking for books that will leave their marks on you by grabbing you by the jugular, this blood's for you!